Sneaking around like I care if I'm caught, run like I stole everything that I bought
I'm sick, always sicK
Praying that God puts a hole in my tongue to make up for sins and the rights I've made wrong
How sad, always sad, it's just sad, always sad

Laugh till I cry and I eat till I puke, or go 80 hours with nothing but juice, it's cute
Always SIKC
Lyin on the floor like I'm only in dreams, swim through the Rivers and hope to find self esteem
It's so sad, it's all I have, all I have...

🎵I don't know just when it started
I don't know why I keep trying or why I believe my therapist
Jesus told me I was covered
But embarrassing chemicals don't seem to be her top priority
Why would they be???

Taking shots to go to sleep and coffee mugs to get back up
Cigarettes to cut the edge and mushrooms to remind me what I love
Oh my god I'm in a fantasy until I sleep, dreams tell all the secrets that my muddy soul is tryna keep
Beware of dog he'll kiss you places you forget exist
Sam is in the kitchen, cooks to catch me up on what I missed
When he sets the table and the scene for what we can expect it's dizzying displays of love and care from one who understands

Strolling around like I don't give a fuck!!!!!!
Run to the trouble and hell that I wrought, it's sad, always SAD
Wait for the hole in my tongue from the lord
Pray till my sins and my fears are restored
It's so silly, always sad ITSSSOSADALWAYSSAAD

Have I finally found a peace within myself?
Have I finally found a place where I can live with this?
I've felt it all along that I can be at ease
I've always known what I think I believe
My mother and my father
And the people that I trust the most
Think the things that they say matter
That they make a difference in the end
Can I escape routines that I've been in if I change the script and scene again?
Or is the ending always gonna be the same damn thing
Oh I don't know-;($&&”

Never thought it would feel good
to make happy life with food
Eating consequence and feeling till my thighs tell me I'm full@
Sitting cross legged in the air
Pretend I don't even care
Till reality and hopes taste like the same burnt breath of air
Everything turns out so nicely in the summertime 🥰 (sometimes not)

I don't know why shit is harder than it was when I was 21
Now I'm the only one

All out protest of chemistry set
Like beakers and burners, not organs and bones
I cannot help but shut eyes and wonder what we'd discover if we'd remember
Sun covered body on tick covered mound
Tree is my mother, ant is my sister
Playing in concert to sing me the sound
The whole world is spinning to keep me on ground